Of doing nothing and other stories...

I had plonked the bean bag in front of the window that afternoon in preparation for a prolonged reading session. Ever since, I was stretched out lazily on the length of it. I'd adjusted the bag's height in a way to cut out the view of any building nearby and only the sky was visible from the window. Those distracting cable wires continued to be in the frame, but then birds of all variety were found swinging from them and I was willing to overlook that distracting foreground to a bright blue sky.

I had gathered all the Sunday newspapers to go through into a pile after lunch. As an afterthought, I add a book to that, in case the Sunday edits bored me. The plan had been to transition to a siesta as I read.  The sunlight made zebra strips on my feet through the window bars and it disappeared after sometime as the Sun moved West. My feet were left feeling warm.

The gentle wind was not letting up a bit and I liked it that way. I had been reading non-stop for 5 hours now...something I used to do often till some years back and before work consumed me. Except for an occasional vehicle or the chirping of birds, nothing dented the silence.

I was done with the book. The newspapers lying around did not attract me. I decided I wanted to do nothing for sometime. No wait, I did not close my eyes....I wanted to consciously do nothing. 

The breeze continued to have a soothing effect, the chirping was lost in the background of the new nothingness that enveloped me....I was conscious only of my breath as it crossed the wind's flow. I stared at the sky, that haze of immenseness, that in daylight hides the stars of old, the blueness that filled my sight. The wires were distant specks, insignificant. My head was be fret of any thoughts, deliberate or stray.  

I have never tried this before and it felt good to not have the mind strung like bow for once. This may be what they call a meditative state. 

Maybe not. 

To dos...update

Since October 2008 I have added a new item to the top of this list (which i keep updating due to my compulsive lister nature) to seek out new and interesting ways to keep my friend smiling all the time. To do that, one either has to be genuinely funny or simply be willing to make a complete fool of oneself once in a while. I think I am slightly better off at doing the latter. (Tee hee!)

The Banana Seller

And a more methodical man could not be found. Every night, he arrives like clockwork to take stock of his fruit…..how many customers has he satisfied today? He stops his cart right below the street lamp near my house. He tempts passersby with the few remaining wares...they gleam golden in the sodium lamps. After a wait of about half an hour, he begins the long process of safety wrapping up the left over fruit in netting. 

First, he un-wraps a substantial length of rope and lays it out in a zig-zag pattern. This enables him to pull it at will without causing tangles. Then, out comes the netting.  It is made of porous material which helps the fruit breathe even though it is wrapped under several layers.This, he spreads evenly over his cart, gently folding the corners, as if tucking in a child in bed. He stands back to admire his effort and once satisfied, lays on the rope with the expertise of a fisherman casting a net. A sharp tug ensures that one end is secure. Then he throws the other end over and over…till it is all fixed.

Sometimes in the middle of the pack up session, longing souls linger by the cart— terribly hunger students going home from the thousand and ten classes they attend..the bananas will sustain them till dinner, couples out for a walk struck with the last minute idea of having bananas for breakfast, old folks who can have heaps of the yellow fruit without having to bother about teeth, …..the fruit lures them all. Bananas are the most wholesome fruit, I think— filling, sweet, no seeds..just peel-eat-throw.

Ungrudging, as always, the man fulfills everyone’s desires. He returns to his task once more. Finally, he is done and ready to go home.

One more day on this earth is snugly wrapped up thus.

And reclaiming life....

Talking of life, I think we should view hospitals as places for reclaiming life and every veritable sign of it. There is a lot of negativity associated with those places, and not unduly so. Death lurks at every corner and there is more pain, anxiety and uncertainty put together there than in a match where our boys in blue put up a show for the benefit of suckers watching them make an attempt at the game. (Tsk tsk)


It's a place you walk in sick into. And at most times walk out better, if not well. It is a place where every second is spent reclaiming life, every action is directed towards that sole purpose, where you turn the odds in your favour, where you push away the uncertainty, the grey areas to move towards the white, towards clarity. Where you fight like you've never fought before for every rightful breath you can take. You fight to win.


I've spent half of the past six months of my life in and out of these places. I've been through frustrating consulting experiences. Plans of action which defy all logic, mixing up symptoms, indecisiveness...arrgh! And all of this from those with enough degrees to fill a bill board. They may be finding it hard to confront the fact that they are dealing with live beings day in day out. If that is really the case, and I almost think it is, they'd better wake up to that reality (shudder!) and shock themselves into mending their ways. And while you are at it, keep those bloated egos in check, will you?


And one thing that they have to, have to do is to LISTEN to the patient. I don't care if they calculate patient time in seconds; they'd better be all f***ing ears!! Not all patients are blind followers of their train of thoughts and patient do come with an iota to innate logic. And they know a thing or two about what's happening to them because it's their b****y body that is going through all that grind. So believe and comply.....!


To be just, not all may be of the variety we were unfortunate enough to encounter. Why, we had one gem of a human being in our midst till he was taken away untimely, tragically falling prey to surgery induced infection.


While I continue to be so bitter about these individuals, I am all praise for the support staff. In these surroundings a smile goes a long way. Nothing like a little humour to start the patients day. Even though I have yet to come across nursing practitioners like the one from the Polo ad, I've seen the best of their ranks practice their profession with dedication. it is not easy to keep a cheerful face in a sombre place like that. I salute them.

8-8-8

Right, no posts in August thus far. But then, it's been a unusual month.

It all started with me checking out of the gym at 8.08 AM on the 8th day of the 8th month of the 8th year of this century. I know, too much!

Thereafter, things got hectic. I don't know if that was an after effect of the 8-8-8, or not. Hectic yes, but not unruly. Life does throw in a few unexpected ones just for the fun, so those were taken into stride as well.

So there I was, towards the fag end of an 6 month ordeal. 6 months of crash courses in kitchen tinkering, mood swing management, wellness counseling, fragile egos management, temperamental balancing, planning far far ahead, and extreme time management. And looking after myself between all that. I could start a Zen discourse right away.

The time has not yet come to look back on all this, it'll be another three months before I do that. So am I glad we went through this crisis so far? Yes (actually yes) and No! NO for all the extreme pain, anguish, hopelessness, grief, uncertainty and the mind numbing feeling of emptiness. But yes, oh yes!! for all these new challenges and the thrill of surmounting them. And the reassuring presence of friends (Oh what would I ever do without y'all!) and sometimes family, the kind words from them and strangers alike, the constant tirade of positive thoughts, the timely help coming in even after requests at untimely hours. For the discovery of different threads in relationships, of deeper bondings and new meanings. And for new relationships that hold a mirror to a different me.

And for life in a new light!

P.S.Thanks A, A, S, R, M, L, P, P. You guys Rock!

Robert Schank's Maxims

Came across these gems sometime ago. Robert turns all that we believed in so far on the head! I love the last one best! :) And it is, oddly, the 11th maxim. Hmm.

1. Look for anomalies. Anomalies are where the action is, creatively speaking.

2. Listen. You can't find anomalies if you weren't paying attention to what was going on in the first place.

3. Find data. Before you make a theory, look to the world around you, ask yourself what is happening. The more you know the more you can create.

4. Classify, and invent new classifications. Their real value is the generalization they capture.

5. Make rash generalizations. The idea behind making rash generalizations is not to be right, but to be thinking.

6. Explain. When we learn something, it's because we have invented an explanation for it. We have explained it to ourselves.

7. Refuse to learn the rules. You must pick your spots for rebellion, be sure that you have reason on your side, and be prepared to take the consequences.

8. Reject old explanations. Ask why. [Authorities tell us to simple explanations to complex issues] . . . it is important to learn to distrust these explanations, not because someone is trying to fool you, but because the standard wisdom might be wrong.

9. Let your mind wander. . . . the process of letting your mind go where it wants can be useful if where it wants turns out to be an interesting place to go.... If you don't give your mind a little freedom every now and a again, it may stop wandering.

10. Fail early and fail often. Failure is a good thing. We learn from failure. Take a chance. Have an idea and allow the possibility that it might be a bad idea.

11. Reject all the above maxims. Who says I know what I'm talking about. Can we really enhance our creativity? That's a good question.

Wierdness

We're all a little wierd. And life's a little wierd.

And when we find someone who's wierdness is compatible to ours,

we join up with them

and fall into a mutually satisfying wierdness

and call it love, true love.

I think I could do with a different shade. :)

All pent up!

I really should be reading more. I have this feeling of insatiability and unless I grab each and every reading opportunity that comes my way, I’ll miss that important pulse. Of course, my groaning bookshelf and my heart know otherwise. I have enough to just sit back and absorb it all. But somehow it seems to me that every minute, every second is fleeting by, every grain of sand is shifting down and my time will be up. I think I can do with an uninhabited island and live there for a couple of years, only reading...right about NOW. And I want to write.

I love to suck the honey out of every precious experience. I still have a voracious appetite for stories, and to me an experience is just that. It doesn’t matter what happened, I will remember it differently, several twilights later. I want to do something that involves, engages, and completely instigates every one of my faculties. I can’t understand or explain this urgency. All this pent-up ‘get-up and go’ is knotted in my veins and tires me beyond exhaustion.

Hmmm.

Damn!

I think it is a tragic reality of life – that we cannot listen to a person with an open heart, with belief, and assumption of the truth. On the other hand, a lifetime of experiences of feeling let down in various degrees has hardened me up...and now!
There are people who will talk to please and to keep appearances. Of course, I get angry that I should be such a sucker a lot of times, but again, it’s not their fault. They do their best in a given situation...make hay..... And WHY do I have to be such a sucker anyway? This refusal of mine to see this daylight of truth.....this abject refusal to see things for what they are....sheesh!. Why can’t I learn that there are people who will talk only what they feel I like to hear? Why can’t I learn something that is so fundamentally simple? I mean, if I can learn to reverse and park a vehicle in the tightest of spots, surely there must be some iota of intelligence in my dull head that gets it.

It took me a time to realise that I needed to stay on guarded and not succumb so easily to sweet talk. But…this balancing things out took a lot of time. I now understand that you must choose reserve in some situations with some people, and absolutely trust with some others. I am sure I'll be reaaalllly tested on this one..there will be a time of reckoning. But I am not worried. I know I will get through this too.

Harajuku ~ Meadow Lodging

The newly opened 'O' Hotel in Koregaon Park, bang opposite the German Bakery, has a cozy Japanese meadow lodging ~ Harajuku. It's a well set, but as of now a sparsely populated restaurant. The maroon ambiance is well balanced by the use of gold and curvy arrangement for private seating (and we thought it was the tank which held fresh sealife, sheesh!). The lighting is appropriately dim and the sake goes down well with that. :)

On entering, we saw a party comprising of some desis and japs. One good sign of authenticity of the food there.

We'd come decided to gorge on sushi, R being the 'expert' and yours truly having some eating experience in that area. The menu is compact enough to enable a patron to make a choice and has helpful notes. But it is constrained by the grouping together of sushi varieties. I wish they'd just open it all up and let patrons make their own sets. After all, make-your-own works well these days. We had soups, a salad, lots of sushi and downed it all with a bottle of sake between the four of us.

The Verdict:

The not so nice first: The service is a bit slow...its new so maybe they are taking time adjusting....they don't have the more exotic listings on the menu yet..like octopus and tuna....yet..again I'd give them some time....they had just one brand of sake....the menu listed about 8...but that made it easier for us..not being habitual sake drinkers..we asked for it and they just got the bottle over with smallish cups made of fine china.

Now the good: The cutlery and crockery is fantastic..good taste there..the sake cups were perfectly sized to hold 4 deep sips..the glasses had an angular bottom, so they stayed tilted when kept down..nice touch that..... and the sushi was good..and i mean it...the avocado one, the California sushi had crab....the prawn sushi was well cooked....sushi ingredients should be raw without seeming so.....i liked that..the wasabi was perfect..gave a head rush..as was the vinegar..the service though slow was impeccable and they did it in style..the soups were really good...had those thin noodles...lots of water...i like the clear variety....they tasted unlike anything I've had before.....and the sushi was better than what I tasted in a jap restaurant in Chicago...only wish they had Asahi...the jap beer to go with all this. :)

And oh! I managed to eat everything with chopsticks (thanks to A!). No, not the soup, if you must ask.